- The creaky floor has moved from quirky to annoying
- I have found the least creaky areas and now travel on tip-toe next to all the walls and take a zig-zag route to get anywhere
- I have only paid for 1/3 of the bus trips I've taken
- I am terrified of this mechanical valve. My ex's mother-in-law had one and died after a trip to the dentist caused an infection on the valve
- Someone left a stethoscope on a chair on the roof and I took it
- I used the hairdryer to warm the bed before I went to sleep last night
- I miss my sons
- I left the hospital tonight because Jeff had been asleep for two hours and I was bored
- I am enjoying traveling around alone and taking pictures
- Jeff can hear that valve click and for the rest of our lives I know I am going to hear him complain about it
- I feel guilty for thinking about that last one
- I don't want to do this again in 20 years
- The chances of Jeff dying during the next surgery goes from 1 in 1000 to 1.5 in 100
- I don't know if life is ever going to be normal again
- I am afraid this constant fear in me is going to be the new normal
Wednesday, October 05, 2011
Confessions
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
It's a blessing that Jeff's still with us and should be around for a long while to come. Having to worry about a surgery in 10-15 years, while daunting, is a worry worth having! In the years between there'll be life, love, and memories to make. Also there'll be technical/medical advancement, human stem cell research, cloning of organs, and surgical techniques and instruments will have vastly improved (barring FDA impediment) so those odds will improve drastically when the time comes. Thanks for keeping us all in the loop and most importantly thanks for being there for Jeff! He's lucky to have you!
Jim P.
I am feeling much more optimistic today. Jeff's drain tubes are out so his back doesn't hurt like it did.
The sun is out again today and I had great conversation with the family of the gentleman next to Jeff in the ICU about pork chops. They also told me how to cook jellyfish. Something I hope to never do so have completely forgotten it. Ick! Jellyfish!
Thanks for setting up this forum and keeping us informed. Since Cass gave me the link I've been reading and re-reading everything over and over again. I eagerly look forward to every word everyone posts.
Don't hesitate to ask for something if there is any specific need we could help with.
When you get a chance, could you please post more about expected recovery? How long before we can visit, before he is expected to be out and about doing stuff, what is expected for follow-up physical therapy exercises, etc.
The self medicating hospital push button for the morphine drip is something I remember being comforting after surgery, but not caring for the vicadin & oxycotton family of pain controlling perscriptions. The tiny doses are a lot more powerful than they seem which you may not realize until you quit taking it. That stuff sucks the most when you go off it. Be prepared for the anxiety, crawling skin sensations, etc. It would have been easier if someone had explained it to me before getting to that point. Hopefully Jeff gets a better solution.
And tell Jeff to enjoy the happy pushbutton while it lasts and eat lots of yummy J.E.L.L.O.!
If you get worried, just remember the former Vice Pres Dick Chenney and his full pressure system that completely replaced his heart. Regardless of the dudes political controversies, the medical accomplishment is phenominal. And Jeff may be jealous that Chenney's LVAD system spins up at 9,000 RPM.
Jim's right, there are more and more advancements every year and we all know how much Jeff researches topics of interest. His STI can dominate performance, so it stands to reason Jeff's heart will to. :)
Semper Fi,
Jason
Post a Comment