Dispatches From The Unemployed

Unemployed Log:  Entry date 20130208:  Location, Under the kitchen table.

There is a horrible smell to the left of me. I am combat crawling, working myself around the dining room chair legs and closer to it's source.  When I woke up this morning the Beatles's Ob La Di Ob La Da was playing in my head, now all I can hear is my internal Yoda.  "Find it, you will.  Kill it, you must."  I shove aside one more chair...Oh Sweet Holy Hell!

How did I end up here?  Well when I wasn't looking another round of layoffs was announced and this time my name made it onto their list.  To be honest after surviving four of these in the past five and a half years I kind of thought I was immune.  Should have gotten my booster shot.

Being home all day isn't really so bad.  My domestic skills needed bushing up on anyway.  I can now make perfect Individual Shepard's Pies.  I have also made Baked Chicken with a Cheddar Herb Crust, and Lasagna Rolls.

Yum!

Also, the laundry is all caught up, including William's.  I have shut down the stray sock breeding ground that was under his bed and have successfully shown him that he does indeed own more then 3 pairs of underpants.  You don't want to know where I found the other 11 pairs.

The weather is still wet and dreary so I am stuck with inside gardening.  I made this terrarium on Monday.

 

This morning I thought I should try my hand at window washing.  They make it look easy in the Windex commercials. Spray bottle in hand I saw we were out of paper towels.  Plan B, newspaper. Somewhere in the cobwebs of my memory I unearthed the notion that someone, at some time told me you should use newspaper to clean your windows.  Outside I dug through the recycle bin and came up empty.  Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw a small splash of bright yellow.  Score!  The Covington Reporter is wrapped securely in it's yellow plastic bread bag and has probably been sitting on our front porch for several days.  (Domestic skills are rusty, remember?) Newspaper secured I headed back inside to tackle those windows.

 

Ten minutes later my hands are black, there are bits of newspaper stuck onto the sliding glass door and I am chasing my cat around the house because she thought the newspaper made an wonderful cat toy.  I shooed her outside so I could pick up the pages of newspaper she'd swatted and slid all around the kitchen and hallway and turned my thoughts to Plan C, rags.  Everyone has rags right?  My grandmother had bits of my grandfather's old underpants.  My mom had old cloth diapers from when my brother was a baby. I have.....nothing.  Washcloths and kitchen towels I soon found equaled linty streaks as far as the eye could see.  I am here to tell you folks that lint on a slider door is the reason why God gave us hair dryers. 

 

Windows done I left the door open to air out smell of Windex (Fresh Breeze my left butt cheek) and to let the cat know it was safe to come back inside. 

 

It's a little know fact, but cats, for all their aloofness know when they are in trouble.  And that is why I now found myself on my kitchen floor face to face with a headless mouse.  The kitty cat version of an apology gift.  When I am out buying paper towels, I'll be stocking up on vodka as well.