The Story of JoNathan

Jonathan will be 19 this March.
 *Deep breath*
 In....and Out...Phewww
Okay so as I was saying, Jonathan will be....gulp...19.

I think I need to lay down.

This past Christmas

Okay Tess, think of something funny so you don't start crying. How could be 19? In 2 more years he'll be able to drink! That's not helping. Stop it. Think about when he was little.

Jonathan has 2 middle names. Arthur was my grandfather and great-grandfather's middle name. Jeffrey was thrown in at the last minute because my ex's mom begged us to name him after her late brother Jeffrey. I would only do it if I could spell it the English way, Geoffrey. Really I just wanted to upset her and assert myself. Bitch move, I know that now but I was 20.  Just a year older than...

I need to lay down again.

Alrighty, Jonathan Jeffrey Arthur Douglass. Funny story, my ex filled out the paperwork for his birth certificate and he missed the 2nd e in Jeffrey. So really it's Jonathan Jeffry Arthur Douglass. I tried calling him Jef-fry for awhile but it didn't stick. We also called him Turtle, JJ, and Zaphod Beeblebrox. Currently JoNathan is our nickname of choice.

When he was 2 he had night terrors for months.  I would sit with him and read Dr. Seuss's Left Foot Left Foot Right Foot Right over and over. He would rock himself and scream in cadence with the story.

Left foot, left foot, right foot, right
Feet in the morning Feet at night
Left foot Left foot Left foot right
Wet foot dry foot
Low foot high foot
Front feet back feet
Red feet black feet
Left foot Right foot Feet Feet Feet

Jon would spend hours lining up all his cars according color or size, whatever method caught his fancy that day.  He wouldn't speak to anyone but he had his own language that he would use to talk to himself and his toys.  Our family doctor thought he might have been autistic, he was a child early on that diagnosis.  Really though Jon was just trying to make sense of his world. His parents had odd work hours so he never had a regular schedule.  He was trying to find order and structure in his life, because we were too young and didn't know enough to give it to him.

Parenting books and family therapy saw us through that rough beginning and once Jon started talking...he's never shut up.  One of Jon's first friends was a girl named Casey, she and her family lived in the apartment building next to ours. We met Casey's parents after she accidentally broke Jon's collar bone when they were playing Airplane. Not the best way to introduce yourself to someone, just so you know. Despite the rocky start our families became good friends.

Casey's family watched Jon one evening. When I came to pick him up, her mom met me at the door before I could even knock. "He never shut up." she said, "Not once. In over three hours. I didn't know a human being could talk so much."

Is it any wonder that he joined the debate team in high school?

Jon didn't just talk all the time.  He asked questions too. A lot of questions. And there was no subject that was off limits.  While waiting for a prescription at the drug store, "Mom do they sell condoms here?"
"Yes. Why?"
"Just curious. Seth said you had to go to a sex shop to buy condoms."
"No, you can buy them here. Or pretty much anywhere." I am answering his question in the calmest way I can but inside I am freaking out.  You're only 13. You don't need condoms. Oh my god should I be telling him where to buy them? No! Yes! Oh my god why did I tell him he could ask me anything? Damn those parenting books.
Jon starts wandering away and I am thanking Shiva he didn't ask me what a sex shop was.  My thanks were a little early however, as his next question comes from next isle over and is in his outside voice. "So where are the condoms?"
I sink down lower into the plastic chair next to the pharmacy window and pretend I didn't hear him. I know from long experience that any response from me will just open the flood gates.
Farther away and in a much louder voice, "Never mind, I found them!"
Oh joy, the flood gates are open.
"Hey mom, did you know you can buy condoms in different colors? Oh cool glow in the dark!"
I am eyeballing the front doors and wondering if I can make it out of the store without Jon noticing.
"Oh wow! Hey mom they have condoms that are studded. Is that like snow tires?"
I can see the red vest of the store manager making his way to investigate the disturbance in the condom isle. Thankfully I also see Jon coming around the corner towards me. "Are we done yet?' he asks. "I am bored."

Since Jon came into my world, bored, is one thing I have never been. Now he lives with his dad and goes to college. My house is quiet and I am allowed to shop in Walgreens again. But everyday I miss him a little. He's not my baby boy any more. He's a funny, intelligent, giving, curious and wonderful young man. I am very proud to be his mom.